Attending a funeral is one of life’s more solemn occasions, and knowing what to wear can sometimes feel like a delicate matter. You want to show respect, support the family, and ensure your presence doesn’t distract from the purpose of the day. At Victoria Funeral Home, we’re often asked by families and attendees alike what the appropriate dress code is for a funeral service. While traditions still influence the way we dress for such occasions, modern funerals are becoming more personal, which means the expectations can vary.
In our role as funeral directors in Aberdeen, we understand how important it is for people to feel comfortable, appropriate, and confident in what they wear when attending a service. Funeral attire, while rooted in respect, doesn’t always have to mean black suits and formal hats—especially when the family has asked for something different. This blog aims to provide a clear, compassionate guide to funeral dress etiquette in the UK, with insight into what’s suitable, what’s changing, and how to choose your outfit based on the tone of the service.
Traditional Funeral Attire: What’s Expected?
In the UK, the traditional funeral dress code is conservative, dark, and formal. Men are usually expected to wear a black or dark suit with a white shirt and a tie, while women tend to wear dark dresses, skirts, or trousers paired with modest tops or blouses. The overall tone is meant to be understated and respectful, with little in the way of bright colours or flashy accessories.
Shoes should also be formal and polished—ideally black or another dark shade. It’s best to avoid trainers, sandals, or open-toed footwear unless explicitly requested or appropriate for a less traditional setting. Accessories should be minimal, and if you’re attending a religious funeral, head coverings may be recommended or required, depending on the customs of the faith.
While it may seem strict, this style of dress is not about fashion but about showing respect to the deceased and their family. Keeping your appearance neat, modest, and quiet in tone helps ensure that the focus remains where it should be—on the person being remembered.
When the Family Specifies a Dress Code
Many modern funerals, particularly those that aim to celebrate life rather than mourn death, come with specific requests around clothing. Families might ask attendees to wear bright colours, a favourite colour of the deceased, or even something casual that reflects the person’s character. In Aberdeen, we’ve seen an increase in funerals where families ask for guests to wear tartan, football scarves, or a pop of yellow to honour someone’s favourite flower.
When a family specifies a dress code—no matter how unusual it may seem—it’s best to honour that request. Doing so shows that you’ve taken the time to engage with the tone they’ve chosen for the service. These requests often come through the obituary notice or are passed along by the family directly. If you’re unsure, it’s entirely appropriate to ask in advance.
Remember, these personalised dress codes are not meant to make guests feel uncomfortable or uncertain. Quite the opposite—they’re a way to bring personality, memory, and warmth into the occasion. By following the family’s wishes, you’re participating in a shared act of remembrance.
Cultural and Religious Considerations
Different cultures and faiths have unique expectations when it comes to funeral attire. While many Christian funerals in the UK still follow the dark-and-formal tradition, other communities may dress differently. For example, in Sikh or Hindu funerals, white is often worn instead of black. In Muslim funerals, modesty is especially important, with long sleeves, loose clothing, and head coverings encouraged for women.
If you’ve been invited to a funeral from a culture or religion you’re unfamiliar with, and no dress code has been specified, it’s respectful to do a bit of research or ask someone close to the family for guidance. At Victoria Funeral Home, we’re always happy to advise anyone attending a service we’re managing, especially when cultural or religious customs are involved. A little effort to dress appropriately can go a long way in showing care and understanding.
Children and Funeral Dress
When children are attending a funeral, the general rule is to dress them in clothing that is tidy, age-appropriate, and modest. For boys, a dark shirt or jumper with smart trousers is usually sufficient, while girls can wear a dark dress or top with leggings or a skirt. It’s not necessary to put young children in formal black suits or dresses unless that’s the family’s preference.
What matters most is that children are comfortable and that their clothing aligns with the overall tone of the service. If the family has requested colourful clothing or a specific theme, it’s lovely to include children in that as well—it can even help them feel more involved and included in the experience.
What to Avoid Wearing to a Funeral
While fashion rules continue to evolve, there are still a few things that should generally be avoided when attending a funeral, unless clearly requested otherwise. Bright or neon colours, bold prints, or heavily branded clothing can seem out of place in a setting that asks for reverence. Very casual clothing such as ripped jeans, shorts, or slogan t-shirts is also best left for other occasions.
Revealing outfits or high-fashion pieces may draw attention away from the purpose of the day. At its heart, funeral attire should always be about showing humility and empathy, not making a statement. If you’re unsure whether something is suitable, it’s usually safest to err on the side of simple and subdued.
Dressing for Different Types of Funerals
Not all funerals are the same, and your choice of clothing may vary depending on the setting. A funeral held at a crematorium, for example, is often more formal, while services held at a private venue or outdoors may allow for a more relaxed appearance. Memorial services, which are sometimes held weeks after a death, can feel less formal than traditional funerals, and the dress code may reflect that shift.
At Victoria Funeral Home, we encourage families in Aberdeen to let their guests know what to expect, especially when services differ from tradition. If you’re attending a more unusual type of service—such as a natural burial, humanist ceremony, or celebration of life—it’s helpful to consider the tone and location when choosing your outfit.
Funerals in Cold or Wet Weather
Given the unpredictability of the Scottish weather, dressing for a funeral in Aberdeen often means being prepared for rain, wind, or chill. A dark coat, umbrella, and waterproof footwear may be just as important as your base outfit. Remember that some funeral services include time outside, whether at a graveside or during arrival and departure. Layering your clothing can help you stay comfortable and focused on the service, rather than distracted by the elements.
We always suggest avoiding brightly coloured outerwear, even in winter, unless a specific colour has been requested. Black or dark coats, scarves, and gloves are respectful choices that still allow for warmth and practicality.
Final Thoughts on Funeral Dress Etiquette
Funerals are about people—about the one who has died and the ones left behind. What you wear is just one way to express sympathy, solidarity, and respect. Whether you’re attending a highly traditional service or a modern celebration of life, your attire should reflect care and consideration.
At Victoria Funeral Home, we know how much these small details matter to grieving families. As experienced funeral directors in Aberdeen, we often see how the quiet respect shown through appropriate dress can provide comfort and support during a difficult time. If you’re ever in doubt about what to wear, remember that it’s not about perfection—it’s about showing up with kindness and thoughtfulness. Get in touch if you need further information.
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